The sound of the rain on my roof is soothing to my soul. Needless to say, it is also keeping me awake, but this gives me time to think which seems pretty rare these days. Most of these thoughts will stay in my head. Some will not.

Alot has changed for me in the past month. For one thing, I graduated from college. It is weird for me to say (or type) because I don't feel old enough. It feels like just yesterday when I said bye to all my friends, packed up and headed west. The entire process was hard for me. I don't talk about it much to people, but I was depressed. I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed my horse and I missed my dog. I guess that is all typical of the college experience. I am thankful every day that I did not transfer back home. Colorado was an invaluable experience. It really opened my eyes to the world. I learned a tremendous amount, made some amazing friends and loved life. What more could I ask for?

Now I live in Wyoming. For atleast the summer but apparently there is the chance for a full time job. This would mean forgoing my internship in Kentucky and I think I would be freaking stupid to do that. But we'll see.

I miss home. I miss my friends and I hate the fact that I never get to talk to anyone. I have been friends with basically the same people since 6th/7th grade. Not many people can say that. I guess it's just a private school thing!

I am boring, and nobody reads this. But not like I really care. PEACE AND BLESSINGS

Oops?

I guess I forgot about this. Like anyone cares. How sad is that.

I graduate in less than 3 weeks. I might cry. I had a legit panic attack, I'm terrified. I don't know how to be on my own. Atleast I have a job? But it's not really a job, it's an internship. But still. And it's paid. I have bad grammar. Sentence fragments. Oh well.

There is always that one person in your life that really gets under your skin. They don't work hard and yet they get everything that want AND they get cocky about it. I wish I could give them a major reality check but that's really not my place. Good thing I believe in karma. That's the only way I can sleep at night.

So I have realized the major difference between high school and college. I mean, beside the bars, the weight gain, the drugs and the whole freedom thing. College really allows you to achieve your potential. I did my thang at GPS but I was never anything special. Average grade, average friends, average experience. Then BOOM you get to college and you discover what you really love and you bloom. I have become more goal orientated than I ever thought I could be and I work haaard for what I want. And people see that. I have amazing reference from this passion, and from that, I am getting some amazing experience. Yes, this is semi vague but that's your problem.

I'm going to miss my freedom. And my free time. I guess you do what you have to.

I and Love and You

Is it super cliche for me to reflect on 2010, as it's the last day of the year?

Too many people have said that 2010 was the worst year they have had. Am I a bitch for saying that 2010 was amazing? Too bad, it was. I did the best I ever have in school, I had an amazing internship, I made amazing connections, I went amazing place, and I had amazing opportunities. Lots of amazing.

But it also has it's low points. Ryan and I had a really long rough patch. I lost some friends, but looking back, it's all just dirty off my shoulders.

What does 2011 bring? Graduation, many more travels and amazing places, an internship in Kentucky (!!) and (hopefully) a big girl job.

Random fact: I have lost 20 pounds since this time last year. I must have been reeeally fat and not noticed because I look normal now. But now I have become obsessed with losing more. I am at 145 and would like to get to 135. That's ok for someone who is 5'10, right?

Building a Mystery

Life is full of mysteries. From the people we meet, to the paths that we take. I will never understand why I chose what I chose, except for the fact that it makes me happy. Was I right to move to Colorado? Was I right to move out to Cali? Will my next move be right? Time will tell, but I am confident in my happiness.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

You know you're a grown up when you can no longer google your problems.

All You Need Is Love

I love school.

I love fall.

I love when the trees turn yellow and orange on campus.

I love having a clean room.

I love coffee.

I love not having on TA on Thursday, which means having the day off.

I love getting to ride.

I love that pain in my legs that I get from riding.

I love that I have a follower. Thanks Jake!

I love when songs come up on my itunes that I literally haven't heard in years.

I love when all my roommates are gone.

I love bananas.

I love talking to my momma on the phone.

I love that I'm starting to write down my thoughts. Even though I'm bad at it.

I love Ryan.

I love my friends.

I love my mom and dad and brothers.

I love Colorado.

I love Tennessee.

I love that I love.

I love the decisions I have made with my life.

I love the future.

I love the uncertainty.

Beasts for Burden

I have been bearing the burden for too many for too long. And the problems are not just simple ones. They're heavy issues, and I always feel the need to take care of other people. It's really starting to take a toll on me. Am I too nice? Is any of this going to be paid back to me when I need the help? I really hope so. Or else I might go crazy.